The Bong Chronicles: Part I

I Lack Bong-ness ...

Image: Google Images

The young father made sure that his Mumbai born daughter’s name is pronounced correctly (note: correctly = Bengalized way) by placing an "o" in the place of an "a" in her name. Alas, he had no inkling that the very daughter (yours' truly), would turn into anything but a true blue Bong.

To begin with, The Universe didn't give the trademark curly luscious mane; I am blessed with straight hair that threatens to thin out every now and then. Often, I have been told that my features are more of a Gujju's than of a Bong's- Interesting, no?

From lessons on how to separate fish bones and the flesh to savor machher jhols and jhaals to education on how culturally rich roots I have, I was being groomed by my parents (here majority of stocks belonged to my father) on how to be a Bengali.
I was introduced to Robindro shongeet and Nazrul geeti, and though I found them very soothing, I preferred dancing on all Hindi film songs no matter how crappy they were.
Ergo, I was now and then lectured on how new Hindi Film songs (old classics were always welcome) polluted the young minds of young Bengalis with nonsense music and even more nonsense lyrics. Did I care? Naaah! They were- "COOL". After all, my friends and school mates loved them, and they knew better and moreover I had to fit in, didn't I?

Dad taught me to read and write in Bangla during summer vacations. Vacations meant; no schools, no books, no studies of any kind. Vacations meant; only play and TV, in short "FUN". But sadly, when all my friends took full advantage of the two month long vacations, I, much to my chagrin, gave one hour to Bangla lessons, every day. My young mind used to s.c.r.e.a.m: *Why on earth do I need to read and write Bangla, School is never going to give me test on the lingo? Then why..why..WHY?*

For me speaking the mother tongue was more than enough, and I was good at it; I really was. Where on one hand my fellow probashi Bong kids couldn't even manage one sentence without heavy Hindi accent, on the other hand, thanks to my father, I was doing far better than them.

I protested with all the might of a 12-ish year old. I was reasoned; "What will you do when you have to write a letter to your mother-in-law?"

-"Wait a minute, Mother-in-law!? Now where did she appear from?" I thought.
Knitting my eyebrows, I replied, "I will write in English"; wasn't that obvious?

An alarming question was thrown at me, “And what if she doesn't know English?” – Huh! Can it go more hypothetical?.... I calmly countered, “I will teach her”. Laughter floated in the room. My father proudly announced that I was a sharp young lady, and how in future I would make anyone feel tongue tied, hearing which my heart swelled with joy and relief, finally I had made sense to them and freedom was just seconds away.
However, those same much awaited seconds brought me back to reality; I was directed to the chapters I had to read that day.*sigh, so much for joy and relief*
Anyhoo, to keep the practice I was given Bangla newspapers, magazines and comics to read, which were a tiring task as I took 10 mins to read 5 sentences. Nonetheless, the best part was classic Bengali movies. My vocabulary improved along with great entertainment.

Frequent Kolkata trips were not just meant to meet our kin but also to make me love the city and the state. Although I love the city and I yearn to visit it more often, but, much to my father’s dismay Kolkata couldn't be my "first city" till date. Mumbai is always "Meri Jaan".

Gorging on big mountains of rice and those big bowls of side dishes, is not my cup of tea, and that makes my Mashis think I am undernourished.
From the day my taste senses developed, all my teeth turned sweet. A typical bong trait- but wait, my teeth didn't crave for Bong sweets they desired chocolates and pastries. I do like Roshogollas and Misthi doyis and Sondesh, but, I am not crazy for them. 

Images: Google Images

Time did change my views on those trashy filmy songs and my ears are now only for good music. Be it Robindro shongeet, Nazrul geeti, Hindi film songs or any other kind.
And my singing, unlike the majority of bong lasses, can built acidity in the tummies of the Grammy winners.

I still take 10 min to read 5 sentences *smiles sheepishly* and about writing in Bangla, well.. err.. No comments. *looks elsewhere*

Friends have tagged me as a fake Bong who lacks Bongness. I am learning to understand and inculcate more of Bongness but, I can’t do it just for the sake of it. 

Oh! Btw, those eating lessons were a success, now I am such a hardcore (expert) fish eater, that sometimes, I feel like a cat… Meow *wink*