Sunday, February 14, 2016

The Misfit!

I padded my way through the foreign corridors in an institute situated in South Bombay. The beauty enthusiast that I've become today was sleeping back in those days and I had let the sun tan me badly. My hair not spared either. Dry and frizzy, I had tied it in a ponytail with the baby hairs flying allover by my forehead. A tote bag which could have be easily dismissed as a "whatever" accessory, hanged from my right shoulder. I was cladded in jeans and loose fitting Tee shirt. Loose, because I was conscious of my developed body, a result of many labels I was christened with during school and college. My thick glasses, 5'3'' demure too was always the target of ridicule in school and then later during my college days. "Geek", "Shorty", "Chashmish" can only look good in government run offices or be a teacher, corporate world (which I was interested in), isn't for her- was often told to me. Although I could never wrap my head around the connection between these. Now I was in an institute to learn the corporate ways and hone my management skills. It was my first day in campus. I reached the classroom I was directed to and upon reaching I found myself amongst people who looked like models straight out of Cosmopolitan Magazine. All eyes darted towards me. As I walked towards an empty chair to claim it as mine for the day or perhaps for the whole year, I could feel the eyes on me. Studying me, judging me, stereotyping me. I couldn't dare to look at them fearing I would cry. Yet, some unknown strength encouraged me to look up. I did. There was a girl with porcelain skin, that looked like never been kissed by the mighty sun, in trendy clothes, staring at me. Telling me I was a misfit. I didn't belong in their world. She had disgust for me in her eyes.My fears were taking their shape. All these while, somewhere in my mind a little part of me was assuring me, that I and not these people were judging myself and in fact these nice people would embrace me. However, the girl crushed that little part inside me with her obvious expression. "I'm not letting any label bind me down"- I said to myself. A deep breath, all the inspiring people I had known who tore away the stereotypes, and images of my parents were all it took. I gaczed around and found a few friendly faces; I smiled and contagiously the smiles flew across the room. The lecture began in a few minutes, and so did the new chapter of my life. I found the courage, I found the voice, to announce my capabilities. I consciously became an active and attentive student in the class, the shyness gone out of the door. My homework on the basic management, marketing and advertising helped me answer many questions on the first day itself, gaining respect from many of my classmates and most importantly gaining confidence within me. From there it was no looking back. That girl eventually warmed up to me and though we weren't friends but we did become cordial to each other. the stereotyped labels were no longer there to haunt me. By the end of the term I managed to change my appearance, to take care of my physical side, not to please others but for myself. People seemed not to notice much as I was the same girl they had known the whole year. I was a misfit for others, and years of this perception had made me believe it and live it. It had damaged my confidence, thankfully my supportive parents and friends didn't let it be a mortal one. But, why these stereotypes, why these labels? Not every woman can get out of it...the damage can be dangerous.
Take a look at some of the startling figures that the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:
a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.
b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Scary, isn't it? So lets pledge to end this and let women be the way they want to be.

 “I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

16 comments:

  1. looks are deceptive and some guys learn this lesson in hard ways when they marry b'ful witches

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    Replies
    1. Why only talk about guys...women too are inclined towards good-looks.

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    2. Ha Ha Ankita :D
      I agree Namrota :) It goes both ways.

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  2. It is better to be a misfit proudly , than to succumb to the sorry-not -to-be one-of-them mentality

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you, it makes one more human this way.

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  3. Appearances define a person in the corporate world. Unfortunately.

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    Replies
    1. Yes it is unfortunate...and not just in the corporate world but everywhere.

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  4. Can it really be ended? It has existed right from the time of the first woman and man!

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    1. I don't think so. It's engraved in us...as if we were programmed this way. Like you said it existed right from the beginning.Unfortunate it is...but it exists.

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  5. I'm sure that the beauty we see today in Namrota would have been certainly visible then. Somehow it always comes across, the essence, the very substance of a woman. Where you are today is the consequence of a far more powerful beauty within you.

    The stereotyping won't ever leave us. But isn't it amazing when you break that stereotype and achieve their envy?

    Loved the article.

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    1. Yes it is. And that's what I want for everyone out there who feels that if you aren't falling in the society's definition of good looks doesn't mean you can't achieve anything in your life. Hence, the post.

      I'm glad you loved it...and thank you very much for your kind words Anupam... :)

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    2. Well, it's an essay for so many out there. So many who would silently take back an inspiration from your words and from what you've made of your life. So yeah, you deserve to be applauded and looked up to. God bless you.

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    3. Thank you so much Anupam...your words have surly boosted my confidence of making a difference with my words, even if it's a slight one. :)

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  6. Good that you are able to see yourself through critical eyes and analyse for yourself. Too often people try to be what others want of them. A half clad Gandhi could shake the british empire. Put a king in beggar's clothes and still he will shine with her poise and inner confidence. In my younger days I too used to make mistakes like the ones you have mentioned. Over a period of time, I have learn't to ignore the clothes and look within. When I meet someone for the first time, I look into his/her eyes, not on clothes.

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    1. I'm happy that you've learnt to look for the within beauty of a person. As cliche it may sound but the within beauty is the true beauty. :)

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  7. No matter how much we debate over that, bot men and women will continue to be deceived, enchanted or judged by their looks. I guess it's in our nature. However, if that affects you or not is in your own hands. Like you said, you started looking after your appearance 'for yourself', I believe everyone should. There's nothing wrong in grooming yourself unless you are overdoing it just to please others. Beauty lies within the soul, but we always like our wine in a beautiful glass. I'm just trying to take a realistic approach here. I'm more of a person who is interested in hearts, but that does not change how other people perceive me and it's fine. It's a free world after all.

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